Her cabin was in the last row. Noone sat beside her. She was happy, relieved. She needn't strike a half-hearted conversation with anyone. She was happy, to be alone. She relaxed. With thoughts racing inside her already half-baked head, she was certain someone would actually read her mind through her face. Strange faces approached her, welcomed her, questioned her - the usual formalities, she thought - responding to them all with a smile. Fake attempt, she knew.
Day one passed and many such days rolled over, and several months too. One face kept coming back. She tried to ignore. She liked the company. She tried to walk away. She started smiling and laughing. She felt elated. “You have a boyfriend waiting to marry you, whom you love”, reminded her conscience. She sulked. Days passed and again she would get back to this cycle of fighting with her conscience. She loathed herself. She wished she never knew him, never met him. But reality’s bittersweet form took shape. She was surrendering unknowingly into a world of laughter and happiness. She loved it. For once, she felt she was somewhere realizing her dreams. A dream which she kept to herself. A dream where she would meet her prince charming unexpectedly, unknowingly - yet completely aware - aware of the heaviness it leaves, an aching anticipation it holds. She was getting lost - deeply and dangerously.
Day one passed and many such days rolled over, and several months too. One face kept coming back. She tried to ignore. She liked the company. She tried to walk away. She started smiling and laughing. She felt elated. “You have a boyfriend waiting to marry you, whom you love”, reminded her conscience. She sulked. Days passed and again she would get back to this cycle of fighting with her conscience. She loathed herself. She wished she never knew him, never met him. But reality’s bittersweet form took shape. She was surrendering unknowingly into a world of laughter and happiness. She loved it. For once, she felt she was somewhere realizing her dreams. A dream which she kept to herself. A dream where she would meet her prince charming unexpectedly, unknowingly - yet completely aware - aware of the heaviness it leaves, an aching anticipation it holds. She was getting lost - deeply and dangerously.
Notwithstanding the consequences, she was giving in completely. “My mind can never rest in peace anymore”, she assured herself. “What am I doing? Why am I walking this path?” Her heart echoed no positive answers. She kept walking in this newfound direction, realizing how deep the trench was going to be when she landed. Somehow, she wasn’t stirred. She didn’t want to be.
She was in love, madly. She poured her heart to him one evening. What a pleasant evening that was, so serene. All she heard was his heavy breathing and the sound of the waves touching the shore over and over again. There was a twinkle in his eyes, he was ecstatic. He wondered why it took so long for her to utter those magic words. His wait ended there, under the auburn rays of the evening sun, where they sat holding each other watching the waves dancing to the nature’s tune. They sat there consuming every second of the moment. She wished if she could freeze that moment. She gently turned to look at him. He smiled at her and she was already melting away. His happiness knew no boundary and it sparkled in his eyes. She smiled back looking into his deep dark eyes. “I don’t want to hurt this man but god, please forgive me”. For her, it was just the beginning of yet another treacherous journey.
