If only it could make her happy it won't hurt anyway - truly!

Yup, am back and after a long time too! Things have been going hopeless to bad to better to ok now… well it doesn’t matter much anymore. They keep coming and going – it’s a hopelessly unavoidable ‘am here to take it again’ vicious circle. Tears you apart and mends you as well.

Just when I was thinking about revamping (!?!) and rewriting my whole blog all over again, I came across this wonderful piece of work (I would rather call it expressions in art!) by rockheart from http://rockheart.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/10/if-only-it-could-make-her-happy.htm.

Beautiful rendering of words, subtle and so very powerful. Makes you sit back and think how often we walk that path. Funny, similar emotions are so universal, its there just about everywhere!

My take: The effort in keeping someone happy yet knowing how disturbingly annoying we can get when realization hits and brings you to reality that we indeed are selfish in our ways, can be disastrous at times. Realization? - Yup, guilt. Utterly bitter one that.

When I was thru with the poem, tears just rolled out with less effort and before I knew I was feeling so helplessly utterly guilty and bitter about myself. And I was forced into rolling back into my cocoon once again for I know this person in my life who feels so very much this way. Probably if that person read this, it would have been easier to relate, but to be in their shoes and feel the same, for me it’s like swallowing a ball of fire and shedding tears of ice.

"Thoughts just shatter day by day and by the night we
are angels of heaven
The dawn breaks and brings in new light, whom are we
fooling here again?"

I cannot find words to go further. Am already choking. If somebody could take it from here on I would be grateful. Thanks in advance!