Here's my list of "five biggest relationshipkillers" of all time. Thoughts written randomly but tried and tested :P Go ahead and have a thought about it and let me know if you have anything more to share.
* Ego - Human ego can be considered as the biggest killers of all time in any relationship. The less you wanna let go of it, the more you lose. Worse still is clash of egos, "you dont let go, i dont let go, then lets go bang our heads!" What's the point? You're losing your sanity. You lose to focus on what needs to be done instead. You'd have probably lost too much time trying to see who can come down and make a compromise.
* Selfishness - Its just not about being selfish about possessing something. It is about being and thinking about 'self'. The more you think about only you, the more you fail to see what the other person is in your life. The value diminishes. Your partner's needs and wants fall way too below in life if you were to see only what you want and where you look. Look beyond youself and you'll see that probably the other person has bigger needs than you. You dont need to be selfless, just be considerate.
* Blame game - This one thing HAS to stop that very second it begins, no matter who takes the initiative! You feel the other person has done wrong, put it in a way that he/she understands but dont make them feel so miserable that they retort. On the other hand, if you're at fault, dont just jump in and say "ok fine i did it, so what?". Probably you can ask your partner where you went wrong so that you can correct it. Things are much better that way especially if you learn to stop blaming one another for their mistakes. Arguments or issues dont come up unless you both have done/gone wrong somewhere at some point. If you think you're winning an argument by blaming the other person and the other person has become mute, you're in for a bigger loss later.
* Taking the blame all the time: Ok this one sounds quite contradictory to the previous point but there's a difference. When you have a situation where you think you've gone wrong or your partner has pointed out your mistake, accept it to correct it the next time but dont go so low that you feel completely miserable and you're made to feel guilty for rest of your day or worse still, all your life. Take the blame if its genuine but dont fall for silly matters that can wreck havoc and toss the boat completely, cos once you do that you'll be taken too much for granted.
* Verbal abuse: Not that physical abuse can be passed off, verbal abuse can leave you completely demotivated. Here abuse does not only mean objectionable usage of words or phrases but the kind of talk that can really leave you totally ripped. When you have the fiercest of arguments, you tend to get more verbal and say things that can really kill. Avoid it. Think for a split second, what if you were to be on the receiving end. Saying things about your partner's family, digging their past, listing down their long-forgotten mistakes, disappointments... all these add up to form a kind of grudge in your the subconscious mind and one day they will get their chance too to give it all back to you. Things get ugly beyond that point. Talk and try to solve the current issue. It really doesnt help talking about what's gone.
If you probe deeper, you'd probably realise there are many more silly things that can really bother you but in the end its how you handle that matters. After all you want to save your relationship at any cost, dont you?
Thinking makes me weak thinking makes me numb with all the thinking i've been doing thinking has only made me dumb! :(
am tired of thinking about... almost anything and everything these days! there's nothing that skips my funny brain. i think about me, i think about my future, i think of all thats in store... i think of elvis, i think of my parents, i think of muffin more often and think of having him close... i think of the good old days, think of those not-too-good days and still think why i think of these things. yet, i sit here, writing down whatever shit comes to my head and wonder why on earth do i even attempt at writing a blog???? something to think about eh? :D i know, probably most of you all must be thinking the same thing too!
ok i have this weird feeling that i'm gonna miss my crucial moment of figuring out when exactly will i know am ready for labor... and it completely freaks me out. i've been researching on the symptoms and signs of having labor and all that comes before that (ill save the trouble of mentioning those terms and processes here just in case it freaks you out as well, esp for the newly weds and not wedded ones!) one more week and my baby will be full term, or that's what i read on the net, which means its safe to bring the baby in to this world. i need not necessarily wait for full 40-41 weeks for delivery. good lord, how i wish humans had lesser gestational phase... i pity the elephants :O!!
so i was saying... things are moving real fast and i still cant believe i've come all the way to this point and now i cant wait any longer for the d-day! ok the honest confessions are: one, am tired of carrying my weight all around, two my butt and legs ache if i sit or stand or do anything for a little longer, three, the heat is not just getting into my head but also doing enough damage physically. i get so freaking restless that its jus impossible to cope up with the amount of sweating and to consider that i've gotta wait for a coupla more weeks really drives me wild. my feet look like two cotton candies and i feel like a clown walking with it.. hehe.. its quite funny actually and i've begun waddling like a duck everytime i try 'walking'. there's something i miss terribly and that's sleeping on my tummy :( gosh, i cant even stand against a wall if i need to take a look at something. i so feel like curling up like a millipede and snug away to lalaland... hummphhh, those days!!!! and i'm told to sleep as much as i can before the baby arrives... yeah right!!! oh btw, one good thing that has happened is that my hair just feels lovely... not been having any hairfall and its growing voluminously well and it feels really good. touch wood! i'm also told i'd be losing them all soon enough :( all good things come to an end i suppose!! nevertheless, i'm saving the best for the last... cos i know that there wouldnt be anything more important than the baby! :)
so that's about the rantings from this soon-to-be-mom. i really dont know whether i'd be able to post another blog before i step into the hospital... cos you see i'll be off from work from May, so that leaves me with just 6 days of free internet usage at office :P i'm gonna miss this one for sure!! but i might (you never know) post another blog if boredom takes over... so long guys, its tatas, muahs and hugs to all of you. wish me luck and pls pray that everything goes fine. i need all your blessings and prayers now :) thanks in advance. will keep you all posted! :)
Whoa!! I cant believe I'm just 49 days or maybe lesser from the d-day!! Absolutely thrilling at the thought of me lying on the labor room, probably screaming at the top of my voice too. And to realise that the day isnt too far away. I feel there's so much pending to do... havent bought a thing for the baby and that is highly depressing (atleast for me!). el thinks we need to wait until the delivery... so that he can enjoy doing the shopping alone, bah!!! i've tried conveying the message right into his head through my mom and sis... (*evil grin*) c'mon what more can i do when he just doesnt wanna listen to me! I'm here dying to start shopping for the lil one... imagine, those tiny dresses, socks, caps, towels.... awww!! i really need to shake him up a bit this month, before its too late! hmmphh...
Yes, coming back to the pending works... we are yet to decide on the name n u wont believe that he tells me that can be done once the baby's born! i'm wondering whether anything at all will be decided or done before??? i'm already going paranoid thinking about what's coming up and nothing seems to be helping me a bit! is that how things normally work with couples, or are we just being uniquely poles apart?!! whatever!! i dont seem to be liking the idea anyway!
As of now, i'm fighting away my nights tossing and turning in the bed and mind it, it aint a bit easy, and i wake me up everytime i turn to the other side. gosh, the weight shifts on your back completely and i feel like a mammoth! and those visits to the loo... nature has it very weird way of preparing you for sleepless nights that's yet to come! But honestly, amazing isnt the word! I’m sure my baby’s gonna be a sweetheart... she’s gonna give me enough rest and less trouble. Hopefully. Amen!!