Perpetual complication - a gift?

Life's evergiving gift to me
a perpetual complication in life.
A struggle to steer through
the toughest challenges,
a search for the ultimate
happiness, ultimate peace.
Clinging to this bleeding heart
screaming out those aching lungs
shedding the lasts of tears
waking up to grave realities.
There's enough grieving done i say
isnt it time i had those happy pills???